Saturday, February 15, 2014

Strong Magic - Muscle Wizards To Tide Us Over

So until Monstrous Television returns and we have the original and superior model to work from, consider this somewhere between a loving homage, and, if I'm honest with myself, the New Coke of everybody's favorite homebrew, FLAILSNAILS class, the Muscle Wizard.

HD: d6
Save: as MU
Attack: as MU
Advance: as MU
Requirements: Constitution 9, Strength 9, Charisma 9, a fucking tough and badass name.
  • Muscle Wizards may use no armor or use shields. They may use any one-handed weapon but insist on keeping a hand free for posedowns and punches. Their punches do 1d4 base damage. If they fight barehanded with both hands they gain +1 tohit that stacks with any other bonuses.
  • Spells are SLOGANS AND MANTRAS the Muscle Wizard repeats as she works out. Once their body is pumped up (with magical energy) they can release this through muscle magnetism, magic radiating off of their sweet poses and eldritch flexing. Mantras are revealed to you through disciplined effort by the DM, but this choice must be the most buff, fit, cut, badass choice available.
  •  Muscle Wizards are +1 to HP, Hit, and Damage for each spell they have prepared. Casting this spell reduces this bonus HP. Muscle Wizards reduced to 0 in this way pass out for a number of days equal to the number of spells they have cast today, unless they receive special medical or magical attention, but do not die. Overexerting yourself is detrimental to proper fitness, everyone.
  • If they punch someone but do not move or do anything else (or add bonus damage) they can deliver any spell effect with their punch. The effect is centered on the punch. Muscle Wizards are immune to their own spells when delivered by punches.
  • Muscle Wizards may only keep familiars if they are rad.
..and additionally I'm splitting the difference between a +Zak Smith random class and a +Jeff Rients bonus class with this:

Strength 13+: Muscle Wizards get a bonus to all saves equal to their Strength bonus.

Constitution 13+: Muscle Wizards impose a penalty to saving throws against their punch spells equal to their Constitution bonus.

Dexterity 13+: Muscle Wizards may spend 1 round of combat stretching and posing and gloating for an appreciative audience to improve their AC by 1 for the battle.

Intellect 13+: Muscle Wizards can speak Body Language, a universal method of communication based on posing and flexing and stretching and athletic displays and shouting. They may spend a round to communicate a simple concept or message, of no more words than their Intelligence bonus provides, to any creature that has or has had a body.

Wisdom 13+: Muscle Wizards can learn new mantras from spellbooks. They do this by spending 1 hr conducting breathing exercises and psyching themselves up, then ripping the book in half.

Charisma 13+: Muscle Wizards get a bonus to their punching damage equal to their level against a specific creature if they "cut a promo" against it to a friendly or neutral NPC.