Saturday, June 13, 2015

Ask And Ye Shall Receive (5e Race- Iagur)

Simon Bisley, duh
Ability Score Increase: Your Strength increases by +1 and your Dexterity increases by +1
Age: 75 years
Alignment: Whatever
Size: Medium
Speed: 40'
Green Death: You gain a Climb speed equal to your normal speed, and can climb while grappling.
Leaper: When you use your movement to make a long jump, you may long jump your Constitution score in feet from a standing start, and double that with a 10' lead.
Language: You speak Common.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

VDND Drunken Master Monk Subtype WHILE DRUNK

This is a venerated kung fu archetype and YES it will be in the game eventually, maybe even SOON, and YES I'm sure others have beaten me to this, probably even doing a GREAT JOB. But I am drunk and I'm running a game in a world where the ocean is alcoholic so here we go.

Path of the Drunken Master

Step of the Drunken Monkey

When you choose this path at 3rd level, you gain the following benefits:
  • You may spend your Action to quaff one dose of alcohol and regain 1 Ki.
  • You may spend 1 Ki to use your Patient Defense class feature, even if you have already taken a bonus action this round.
  • You may also spend 1 Ki to use Patient Defense as a reaction, even if you have already taken a reaction this round.
Stance of the Drunken Ox

At level 6, you become proficient with Constitution saving throws if you aren't already. Additionally, the number of drinks you have imbibed using your Step of the Drunken Monkey feature since your last rest is added to your AC. You obviously lose this bonus with your next rest.

Slap of the Drunken Carp

At level 11, when you use your Flurry of Blows feature, you may instead cause a target within melee range to make an attack against a creature within range. The creature may not pull its punches, and must attack the new target as if it were you.

Style of the Drunken Dragon

At level 17, hindering terrain no longer affects you while you are under the influence of your Step of the Drunken Monkey. Additionally, you gain 2 Ki for each drink by using your Step of the Drunken Monkey option. Finally, the number of drinks since your last rest also apply to your unarmed damage, no merely your AC as in the Stance of the Drunken Ox.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Moon Slave VDND World Tour- Trophies and Fetishes and Offerings to Moon Slave

This is a Trinkets table constructed for those who follow Moon Slave

Roll d100.

  1. Tongue of the last of its kind
  2. Hilt used to kill someone
  3. A jar of witchflesh, in sardine oil
  4. Bone jewelry
  5. A shrunken and gnarled mummified hand
  6. A pouch of lye
  7. A dream journal that fills a new page every morning, but with someone else's dreams
  8. Virgin blood
  9. Slut blood
  10. A fistful of broomstraw
  11. An egg from the heart of a human man
  12. The eyes of a ghoul, which transfix the vision
  13. A bottle of air from a kingdom which burned
  14. A folio of certificates claiming to be souls
  15. Tongs
  16. A glass shard which only reflects scorpions scorpions scorpions
  17. A scorpion
  18. The heart of a noble deer
  19. A mask made from dog flesh
  20. The heart of a human man filled with sleeping bees
  21. A tablet that produces thick purple smoke in water
  22. An oil which burns with contact with air, in a wineskin
  23. A piece of Moon Slave's grave marker
  24. The crown of a forgotten nation
  25. A contract for murder, blank
  26. A sack of rotting meat
  27. An old man's skeleton, complete
  28. A flag, half-burned
  29. A mud-matted wig
  30. A pair of iron dentures
  31. A vial of frogs' wings
  32. 50 coins weight of nightshade berries
  33. Black sand
  34. Ashes from a burned priest
  35. Red candle of witchmass
  36. A hammer washed in fear sweat
  37. A torn painting
  38. A dead plague rat
  39. A shroud from a corpse you didn't kill
  40. The genitals of a corpse you did kill, packed in salt
  41. Wicks made from king tallow and shrew tails
  42. A mysterious green liquid in a vial
  43. A foul smelling purple semisolid in a jar
  44. A glow-in-the-dark white powder in a tube
  45. A deep, hypnotically deep red ichor, in a wineskin.
  46. Mead full of screams
  47. Gelatin made from war horses
  48. Bellows
  49. Matches
  50. Hair from the oldest person to have died in your home town
  51. Stone crocodile tears from a basilisk
  52. Ground up witch hunter bones
  53. A collection of witchfinder pins
  54. A noose which broke, praise Moon Slave
  55. A perfect leaf, slowly yellowing at the edge
  56. A headdress adorned with rib bones
  57. Greaves of coffinwood
  58. A broom, but a mundane one
  59. A catskin
  60. A big fuckoff carved ivory Gandalf pipe
  61. An elk carcass swole with maggots
  62. The finger of a friend
  63. The spine of an adversary
  64. The face of a lover
  65. A comfy pillow
  66. A torch made from a stake
  67. The only innocent sparrow
  68. A rain talisman
  69. A chalk which catches ghost, allegedly
  70. A fertility symbol
  71. An ENORMOUS fertility symbol
  72. Their own casket
  73. A small box filled with pried off fingernails
  74. Twelve pillbugs who never open maybe they are something else maybe i bet
  75. Bloodsaturated sugar
  76. An ancient surrender, never recognized
  77. Your old teeth, from before you became
  78. The only song metal enough for Moon Slave, never played, requiring never invented instruments, written by His child who couldn't speak
  79. An extra shadow, in the shape of Moon Slave, which you carry in your pack and can attach/detach at will.
  80. A memory of your last or perhaps only happiness, made physical in the form of a wooden cat monster figurine.
  81. Scary makeup
  82. Long smoking firelighters you can stick in your hair or beard
  83. Gloves made from a calf's stomach
  84. Hit list
  85. A book of spells, all of which are simply gibberish
  86. A potion which will only be potent for 1 hour, that has 100 more days to mature. Its effects are unprecedented.
  87. An eagle's egg filled with mucousy spiders.
  88. A new language
  89. A drawing of Moon Slave stained with its creator's tears
  90. The First Book of Moon Slave
  91. The Second Book of Moon Slave
  92. The Third Book of Moon Slave
  93. The Fourth Book of Moon Slave
  94. The Fifth Book of Moon Slave
  95. The Sixth Book of Moon Slave
  96. The Lost Book of Moon Slave
  97. The Forgotten Verses of Moon Slave
  98. The Last Book of Moon Slave
  99. The First Revelation of Moon Slave
  100. A soul on a chain, always screaming, only you can hear it

Wild Sorcerer Effects Tables for 5e

This is a modification from the way VDND uses its Wild Sorcerer flavor rules. They are not flavorful enough for me. To this end, every time a Wild Sorcerer casts a spell they roll on the first table, which we can call a minor effect table, rolling 3 dice: two d20 and a d10. If the result on either 20 is a 1, their result on the other d20 is instead compared to the SECOND table, with more serious and uncontrolled effects, which you can think of as a wild fuckup table. Otherwise, the die which lands CLOSEST to the DM is consulted against the first table. The d10 gives a value that certain effects will key off.

Wild Effect Table

  1. Target of the spell changes color. Like it turns shades of blue. This lasts for d10 minutes.
  2. The Sorcerer gains an out-rrrrrageous French Accent for the next d10 minutes.
  3. The Sorcerer sees only females for 1 round.
  4. The target of the spell smells delicious for 1 hour.
  5. Every time the Sorcerer speaks for an hour, bubbles float out of her mouth.
  6. The target of the spell loses all concept of direction for d10 minutes. They don't just forget where north is, they forget WHAT north is, and all directional concepts are interchangeable.
  7. A certain type of indigenous local animal will be drawn to a random member of your party for 1 hour.
  8. One person other than Sorcerer in the room glows like candle fire for d10 minutes.
  9. One nonmagical item in the vicinity of the Sorcerer turns into butterflies. They scatter.
  10. 11 minstrels appear and play loud music, following the Sorcerer, for d10x4 minutes. They vanish into smoke if attacked, but they all have families who love them.
  11. One member of the party appears as a 6 year old version of themselves for d10 rounds. Their game statistics remain unchanged.
  12. One creature in the area gains the ability to cast Charm Person once.
  13. The touch of all party members tarnish silver and other metals for 1 hour.
  14. The Sorcerer becomes covered with alien blood.
  15. The target of the spell may only cluck like a chicken for 1-2 rounds, where an even d10 roll means 2 rounds and an odd d10 roll means 1 round.
  16. The Sorcerer's AC and damage bonus improves by the number of visual aids - "flair" - they have brought with them for their character today.
  17. The target of the spell speaks like Bizarro.
  18. The Sorcerer gains a one-shot use of a Cleric cantrip for the rest of the day.
  19. The spell is accompanied by the sound of an enormous fart.
  20. The Player controlling the Sorcerer closes or covers her eyes for d10 minutes. Her character suffers no penalties, and she may act while blind, but she must have everything described to her in d10 words or less.
 Spell Fuckup Table

  1. The spell reverses; the Sorcerer is the target and must make necessary saves, while the target receives any benefits of the Sorcerer's spell.
  2. The spell randomly targets a different creature in the area.
  3. The spell randomly targets a member of the Sorcerer's own party.
  4. The target of the spell has Advantage on this save/The Sorcerer has Disadvantage for this attack roll.
  5. The Sorcerer turns to iron for 1d10 rounds, immovable and indestructible.
  6. The Sorcerer loses the ability to read for the rest of the day.
  7. The target of the spell becomes capable of casting the same spell, once, for the rest of the day.
  8. A random creature changes gender for 1d10 days.
  9. A random flammable item in the vicinity catches fire. This may also inflict d10 damage depending on the case.
  10. The Sorcerer has Advantage for this spell/imposes Disadvantage for this save, but suffers d10+ the level of the spell in damage themselves.
  11. The Sorcerer must cast the same spell again next round, if able, or suffer the spell's full effects without a save.
  12. A CR 1 creature appears.
  13. A hostile CR 1 creature appears.
  14. A CR 1 creature allied with the target of the spell appears.
  15. An indifferent CR 7 creature appears.
  16. The Sorcerer loses all Spell Points for the day, though she may confer them to another Sorcerer.
  17. The Player controlling the Sorcerer and the Player next to her swap characters for d10 minutes.
  18. The target of the spell teleports home, in comfort and safety.
  19. The Player controlling the Sorcerer may not speak for 1d10+5 minutes, and communicates only in mime. The DM designates her interpreter, and what the interpreter says goes concerning the Sorcerer's actions.
  20. Roll once on each table, both results occur.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Killing Goliath - somethingsomething Elemental Evil 5e something, Part 3

Full disclosure with 2 parts of this series down, I actually dislike elemental races as a theme. Making de-rigueur elementals and genies and shit makes those already hoary concepts feel all the thinner, and makes meeting a full fledged member of their nation a less inspiring affair. So write me off as pretty stupid for even doing this article series or else read on to hear me complain further about the Goliath.

Some people hate race-as-class, and I get it. I think it simplifies a lot of things and makes you think about what about your character is important to you, but I get it. What bothers me, then, are latter-day races which are basically classes, or which step on what classes do that makes them special. In the Goliath's case they're a race who live as barbarians, so they are a race of Barbarians. You can be a barbarian Barbarian and just be a threshing machine or you can be a barbarian Wizard because why should anyone be required to make a choice? Less either or! More either AND!

I also don't read dnd novels but while I'll give the benefit of the doubt that someone made them interesting their game-book-lore is dull as dishwater. They also simply boil down to being a big guy race when you could spend your big guy nickel on something more interesting.

The elephant in the room, though:

Goliath lost.

Everyone knows this. In the world.
Tiny babies know this.
Dumb people know this.
And he was killed by a tiny baby man.

Confidence is not inspired when you name your race "Losers." Even half-giant would be a clearly better name, except that outside of Dark Sun we aren't allowed to call them that becaussssse why again? Oh because there's technically a different half giant stat block somewhere. Honestly that sounds like another mark against these guys, that they don't even have that aspect of themselves locked down.

There is a type of character that I've always liked the idea of, but my general dissatisfaction with just animal races prevented me from exploring. The great thing about them is that, as a burly race of mountain creatures, I need do very little to convert them over. They instantly come with a swimming pool of awesome points of reference, factoids, and their own societies that we know a lot about. I'll even play ball and name them after some famous loser of their species.


Ability Score Increase: Increase your Strength score by 2, and your Constitution by 1.
Age: Kerchak grown ape by 12, dead ape by 60.
Alignment: Ape law.
Size: Big but Medium.
Speed: 30'.
Great Ape: You have training in the Athletics skill.
Mighty Ape: You have proficiency with Constitution saving throws.
Strong of Limb: You count as Large for carrying/push/pull/lift formulas.
King of Mountain: You're acclimated to high altitudes above 20,000' and you're naturally adapted to a warm, humid climate.
Languages: You can speak Common and Primordial.

I swapped out Stone's Endurance for something that felt in that spirit without feeling too Barbarian, changed a Language, and changed their climate adaptation, but otherwise they work off the shelf. Hell, they'd work by just crossing out "Goliath" and writing "Gorilla."

Outside of coming with an existing culture and thousands of hours of footage to draw inspiration from, these guys have a couple other advantages:
  • Puts more Tarzan/Burroughs into the game which is always welcome.
  • Puts more Planet of the Apes into the game, which I always welcome.
  • Puts more Kong into how long do I have to keep doing this you get the point.
  • Gorillas doing anything will always look cool when drawn.
  • If we get the inevitable bloat of racial Feats, Gorillas can go in a lot more interesting directions than just shrugging off even MORE damage.

Monday, June 1, 2015

VDND Aasimar That Aren't Aasimar unholy mother fuckers...
Aasimar and Tieflings are both examples of another thing I dislike in late-era races, which is races that are built around inherent use of one to eight spells, normal every-day spells at that. I don't like being a Hermione race any more than I do being a Conan race. They also have the big problem to themselves that they can never be as interesting as Tieflings, because angels are never as interesting as demons unless you get to the point I like, where you treat them as functionally identical.

The best way I can think of to make them interesting is to basically throw them out and start over with a new divine-inspired race type. Which is what D&D has done before, and what I've done now. I decided to make them a floating sub-race, and having done so I'm surprised why I haven't seen more of these in the DIY community. Humans were slightly tricky, but otherwise most races can graft this on easily and you can explain those who can't with the fact that the universe is sometimes a huge dick. Especially heaven. I'm sure you could take the Power of the Word sub-class feature as a Feat later? Or work with your dm to make your 1/3 human 1/3 orc 1/3 angel thing? But that's your lookout not mine.

As replacements for Aasimar, they do raise the question, why are these many different kinds of angeltouched being but only humans made half-devil-people? The obvious answer is that everyone but humans knew better.

The Word

The Word are in fact a sub-race which can be applied to any existing race that has a sub-race. Dragonborn, Half-Orcs, and other halfbreed and mongrel races - those without a subclass - are not shewn the true light of the Word. This is the will of the Word. (For Humans wishing to speak the Word, simply add +1 to any 2 Ability Scores and a Language then ignore anything else you would get for being a Human. You are now the Word.) Those who seek the Word will find the Word, though the Word may not speak to them. Those who hear the Word become vessels for the Word, and endeavor to spread the light and order of the Word.

When you choose to be a vessel unto the Word at character creation, you gain the following benefits:

Ability Score Increase: Increase your Wisdom by 1.
Light of the Word: Your eyes may glow brightly like candleflames as an action. You may extinguish this effect as an action. You may also dim and control the brightness of this effect.
Power of the Word: You may speak the Word as an action, though afterward you must take a long rest to regain your strength. Upon reaching 5th level, your understanding of the Word has deepened to the point where you recover more quickly, and may speak the Word again after a short rest.

The Word is all and eternal, but vessels of the Word are weak and simple. Their understanding of the Word is limited to these expressions:

Faim- You confer resistance to necrotic damage to an ally, and yourself gain advantage on saves against necrotic damage. These effects last until your next rest.
Ilthyk- You confer resistance to radiant damage to an ally, and yourself gain advantage on saves against radiant damage. These effects last until your next rest.
Gilr- You may speak as a reaction to allow another who has used their reaction already to make another reaction.
Mosch- You speak and allow another who has or has nor acted in this round to make an additional action this round.
Padiihs- You may impose disadvantage on a knowledge check, and gain advantage on your next knowledge check.
Rav- Your booming voice communicates a single-word concept to all intelligent creatures within 100' of you, regardless of language.