Friday, April 19, 2019

Hey Y'all My Dog's Dyin.

Going to be an interruption of normal service here for a while. Hell of a New Reader Drive I know but I'm never going to put my gamey goofs ahead of what my wife needs. And really what I need. More than I'm ready for.

When I put something up again it's probably going to be a notice of restored service in place of this post, as well as a notice of expansion to a few existing articles/resources. Until then you can please leave article requests here.

Monday, April 15, 2019

New Reader Drive

Right now I have six "DUNGEON MIX" articles on the site. By the end of the year I want to make that TEN.

Right now I have 18 Adder Entertainment articles. By the end of the year I want to make that TWENTY-FIVE.

Right now I have only six reviews of OSR-And-Adjacent products on the site. While I try to only review things I adore, by year's end I want to make that number TWENTY.

I'm also going to continue making bugfuck classes, weird rules/setting mods, bad 5e content (is there any other kind?), the continuing adventures of Chefy, Elma, Moon Slave, Breaka, Hercules Jesus, Dawnstar Racing, Green Room, and more.

I'll probably even have something looking very like an actual book by the end of the year. Honest.

You can help with all of this. I won't ask for any Patreon donations, that went badly last time. No, instead the collapse of my only social platform and the removal of a couple of my biggest boosters from my life (for very good reasons) has left me with a much-shrunken audience. A lot of that is my fault, from brain problems. But I'm doing good work now and mostly avoiding those brain problems so I'd enjoy another crack at the bat.

You can help with all of this.

Just, every time you see something of mine you dig show up in your reader feed, or in Discord, or on Reddit, or pop up on the blogroll of someone more popular


reshare what you like with other people who might like it too.

Don't get me wrong, sharing my Donate button wouldn't hurt my feelings and would help keep my internet on for me to keep working. But that's not what I'm after. Right now I just want to find people and with the old blogosphere and G+ so fractured I don't even know where the choir WENT to preach TO them.....but would really love to get in front of some new eyes.


Some of my favorite things I've made have been from other people's prompts, be they G+ ramblings, free associating from someone's weird gif, Secret Santicore, the Chaos Request Line, or whatever. So here's what I'm asking. Share when you see something you like.

Then, put a prompt or request on this page. I'll pick a random prompt each week and do something with that. You either get something useful or just get something to read while shitting, or maybe just have fun challenging me.


Monday, April 8, 2019

Evolutionists- I'll Make A Man Out Of You

If you have clerics then use those numbers. If you have druids even better, use those numbers and use these guys instead. You can't use weapons and armor.

You have three abilities.

I Choose You

You can transform any animal with less than 1HD into a humanoid who acts/saves as a Fighter of half your level (min 1) with 10HP, whose unarmed strikes deal 1d8 damage. You can only have one such effect active at a time and the transformation only lasts until they defeat the enemy you summoned them to fight - not "the guards" but "Greg the guard" - or until they are reduced to 0HP or you revert them to their animal form at will. There's no limit to how many times you can use this per day. At level 6 you can do this with creatures who have 1HD and all creatures retain any special abilities that it would make sense for them to have, like echolocation for bats or heat detection for snakes.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

You have a number of Primal Forces equal to your level, choosing which new ability you gain each level. These may be taken multiple times. On your action you may invest one of these Primal Forces in an animal or animal-humanoid you have created. These are refreshed after a night of snoring and farting. You can also regain one Primal Force through the expenditure of Amber.

Healthy- Target gains 1d8 to their HP even if this takes them above their starting HP.
Ferocious- Target's unarmed attacks deal +1 damage and are considered magical.
Gentle- Target's unarmed damage uses 1d12 but only does non-lethal/stunning damage.
Arms- They already have arms but now they can have either a big fuckoff melee weapon that reaches 15' away or a powerful shortbow with unlimited ammo; all weapons and ammo vanish when the animal reverts.
Surprise- An animal's target suffers from the effects of Confusion until it is reverted.
Cautious- This can be activated when the Evolutionist or one of their animals would be hit, even from surprise: the animal transforms and becomes the target of the attack.
Will- The animal gains a mind of its own, along with the capacity for speech. It is totally obedient.
Move It- The humanoid gains any special movement the animal possessed, like burrowing or flight
Feast- The humanoid kills itself but stays at its big size, providing delicious rations for a whole party.
Defense- NOTE: ONLY WORKS WITH TURTLES. The humanoid's head and arms collapse into its chest. It gains +4AC, blindsight, and its kicks become magic.

Power of Nature

You can carry up to your Dexterity score in small animals on your person. If you would take damage from a weapon attack you can say that one of your animals stunted the blow, subtracting the dead thing's HP from the damage you would take. In addition, you can use any animal as a weapon. Snakes become nunchuks, hedgehogs become shuriken, alligators become greatclubs. They deal damage according to the weapon they are emulating but they suffer the same amount of damage. Once they're dead they no longer function as a weapon. You can invest a Primal Force in these animals in order to heal them and send them on their way.

Toad Style

At level 9 you gain the ability to turn a willing or terrified humanoid into an animal of 1HD or less and carry them with you. If they take damage from any source they instead revert to their pre-animal state.