So after remembering my Muppet Maker earlier and fiddling with it I decided to whole hog make a guy. I decided the Type table (humanoid, animalish, or monstrous) would roughly correspond to Human, Normal DND Race, the Rare Races, according to the 5e handbook. Figured I usually hate half-orcs but divorced from Orcishness they would give the guy I rolled up an appropriate skeleton so I don't have to hack anything. So my guy has the bones of a half orc but he's a Sesame Street monster.
Muppet Maker results:
- Monstrous (with horns, fangs, fur, and an extra body part [extra rams horns I forgot to draw]
- Strives to do the right thing
- Could be characterized as Hopeful, Affable, and Oblivious
- He aspires to Be in Charge (read: to rule), wants to get Rich, but can never really succeed because he's Kind of Dumb.
- Strength 14 Constitution 18 Dexterity 11 Intelligence 9 Wisdom 6 Charisma 10. Put the 6 in Wisdom instead of Intelligence because he's kind of dumb but absolutely Oblivious so he needs horrible insight perception etc.
- No Backgrounds really spoke to his lack of mental faculties so I went with Soldier and randomly rolled that he was a Cook. Yes yes yes.
- I am always polite and respectful. Our lot is to lay down our lives in defense of others. I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. The monstrous enemy we faced in battle still leaves me quivering in fear. OKAY so: good egg, big on civil service, but based on those last two I think he only ever fought on the battlefield because he can't cook for SHIT, and had to ride out to meet the enemy while the soldiers all had tummyaches from tuna surprise (We're outta tuna! Surprise!)
- Fighter sounds like the easiest transition for that background. He's too chicken now for military service but he's too protective and worried about people not being safe to stay at home. I'll make him a Protector type.
- Between the BG and Class he's trained in Athletics, Intimidation, Acrobatics, and History. Halforcs are already trained in Intimidation, my response to that is OH WELL, I consider it fair tradeoff for being a Muppet.
- Gold rolled randomly and then all spent on chainmail apron w/pot hat, warhammer ladle, roasting pan shield, an explorer kit, some dice, his marble collection (ball bearings), and a pony. His pony's name is Cinnamon and she is Fat Pony from Kate Beaton.
- Random starting trinket is a deed from another country you've never been to. If he can just get there he can be king! Wherever there is...
- Going to name him after Chefy V, my Skyrim companion who made me surplus to requirement in my own game from badassness.
- He talks like Master Billy Quiz Boy.